Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize