rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
