Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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