its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
