Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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