i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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