True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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