I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
