I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
