i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
