Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
