We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
what day is it and did you see me today?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
