they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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