giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
