There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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