Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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