Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
