I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
