Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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