Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
