I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
