I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Dear god my vagina.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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