i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
did i just pee glitter
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
