Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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