Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Randomize
