He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
