is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
