My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
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