I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
