so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
