at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize