One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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