planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
