wat bout pragnant strippers??
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
