we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
