Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
He? As in you personified your dick?
Drake has all the answers
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
