Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Randomize
