Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.