How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying