wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon