Grow some girl-balls and come out already
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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