Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize