I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
