I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
