I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
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I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
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Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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