I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
The air was thick with penises
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
