I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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