just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
