every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
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