i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
