glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
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