i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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