I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
