..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
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I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
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She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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