Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
