True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
