i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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