I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Green mimosas i think yes
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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