Sry I called you an 8
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
