He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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