So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
